Sicilia Outlet Village Honey I’m Home

Sicilia Outlet Village is the largest shopping mall in Sicily, located in the center of the island, closer to the east coast of Sicily (Catania and Taormina). The location is pretty unusual, in the middle of the mountains, far away from everything.

Our mobiles stopped working, although they didn't want to admit it. It was the typical situation where the mobile is convincing you to turn right and you do as he says with your open mouth because he's clearly leading you to someone's garage.

You look at it expecting an explication and it's like “Eeehmmmm, noooo, I never said it's here, actually, it's 25 km from here!”

You follow the new instructions and again the mobile says “Left! Left! Here, immediately!” and you get off the main road and turn into a tiny street, then into another even more narrow and you know for sure the biggest Sicilian Outlet is NOT on the top of the mountain village, but the mobile is still yelling on you “Straight! Yeees, straight! Right!” and you finish in a typical Italian street, wide as your bathroom, laughing like an idiot in the face of an old lady eating in her kitchen.

It feels almost impolite that she's not inviting you to have her famous Busiate al pesto with her because your head is practically in her kitchen already.

Since she's so rude and your mobile starts to yell at you: “Helloooooo?! What do you think you're doing here?! The Outlet is 35 km from here! Who am I talking to?!” you try to leave the lady's kitchen backward. It would be better to close the rearview mirrors because they are already almost touching the walls on both sides of the micro street, but then how would you drive backward?

Then you decide to just get out of there and find some real roads and try to think with your own head, like before we had GPS and you manage to find some good looking, real road and then even a highway.

Gucci admiring a tycoons' yachts in Siracusa.

Then your girlfriend starts to scream enthusiastically: “There it is!!!! I can see it! That can only be the shopping center! Go there, go there!” (although you are not an eagle to fly directly towards something she sees and you have to wait for the exit), there comes the exit, your girlfriend is already putting on her lipstick and screaming like a maniac ready to shop till she drops, your mobile says:

“Your destination is on the right.” Bitch!

Gucci in sunny Noto, having a too early Campari.

Gucci in the sunny Noto, having a too early Campari

We entered the sanctuary… I apologize to the ancient Greeks and Romans, yeah, your amphitheater is great and all, but THIS!

The shop windows screaming my name, the familiar letters of Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, Calvin Klein, Gucci, Hugo Boss, Michael Kors, Ralph Lauren, Trussardi, Versace, Alberto Guardiani, Desigual, Gas, Geox, Guess, Lacoste, Baldinini, Billionaire,… are dancing in the front of my eyes and causing me a serious tachycardia.

Knowing the discounts of 30% – 70% are current throughout the year doesn't really calm me down, I'm having a heart attack by noticing I'm not the only one in the world and there are more people around, all of them trying to buy what I want in front of my nose. I feel I could throw a tantrum.

“Go to Nike! Go! Just go! Look, there's Puma! How cool is that?! Don't you just loooove Asics? No! No! Don't enter Ralph Lauren! Shu!”

“Gucci, come, let's go, quickly, mummy's home!”

Gucci in Tonnara di Scopello.

Gucci in Tonnara di Scopello

Alex in Siracusa

If you get hungry (read: if your other half starts to act like a tired five-year-old) pretend you'll have a coffee or a delicious meal offered by the many restaurants, cafes and pastry shops in the outlet village and while you do that, you scan around and just jump:

“Oh, look! There's Hogan! I'll be back in a second!” and you run away and leave him with his coffee.

The dogs were more then welcome in all the areas of the Outlet (obviously, it's Italy, not some third world country. Like my Croatia and Spain.), so no hiding was needed.

Not even just small dogs, even the big ones! My shopping orbit was coinciding with another girl's-with-a-great-taste trajectory so she, her German Sheppard, Gucci and I were assaulting the same brands and coinciding in different shops.

Her doggy and Gucci were eyeing each other while we were trying the clothes on.

The guy was beautiful and he behaved like a gentleman holding his owner's purse while waiting for her. The advantage of having a big dog. Our style was slightly different, I put Gucci inside of my bag and hang him on the wall.

In Italy all the shops are dog-friendly.

Dog's are welcomed everywhere

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